


06/04 Monday 1. Feather

by Lif61 (UltimateFandomTrash)



Series: #SpnStayAtHome [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, SPNStayAtHome, Wings, feathers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23671072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateFandomTrash/pseuds/Lif61
Summary: Castiel gives Dean something very special, but Dean finds himself refusing, afraid of what pain their relationship could lead to.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: #SpnStayAtHome [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704448
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	06/04 Monday 1. Feather

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this for the #SpnStayAtHome event taking place on tumblr! As you can tell from the date of this title, I'm late to the party, but I'm still going to try my best to do it. This will be a series. Hopefully when I'm finished there will be ten works in it. Hope you like this one. Enjoy!

“Cas, what is this?” Dean asked. Castiel tilted his head at him, eyes beginning to squint in befuddlement. Dean realized his mistake, and went on, “I—I know it’s a feather. But…”

He trailed off, turning his gaze from Cas to the delicate bronze-colored feather in his hand. It was soft — the softest thing he’d ever felt — and his hands tingled just from holding it. The bronze came in different hues, fading out to a silvery cream color near the top. By the tip, the end of the quill, the color was more of a darkened caramel.

His hands were shaking, palms carefully open, barely daring to cup the feather. There was a fear in him that it would break, or maybe even disappear. So he kept staring at it.

Castiel came closer, and Dean looked up, locking eyes with the angel. Castiel’s eyes were the most open he’d ever seen them: blue, and honest, and… afraid.

Castiel was afraid.

“It’s one of mine,” Castiel said, reaching out, laying his hands beneath Dean’s, caressing slightly. Comforting warmth bloomed from the touch.

“Did—Did you _rip_ it out?” Dean asked, suddenly worried.

Castiel smiled warmly at what Dean was now realizing must have been a stupid question.

“It fell out,” he answered, the rough gravel to his voice diminished, softness in its place. “Angels — we’re not indestructible. Our physical beings have mishaps, flaws. So it fell out.”

Dean licked his lips, fearful, a horrible dread building in his gut telling him that this wasn’t real, that it would all fade. He didn’t deserve this. But, even with all that fear bundling up against the front of the lower part of his spine, he asked, “Why give it to me?”

“I thought it would be obvious,” Castiel said.

He went around behind Dean now, arms wrapping around him. His grip wasn’t exactly gentle. Rather, it was tight, possessive, as if he too were afraid this wasn’t real. How could it be? Their lives were crap. God didn’t believe in them. But, here they were.

Castiel leaned in close, and kissed Dean on the cheek.

Dean barely dared to breathe.

Castiel had given him one of his feathers.

Did that mean…? No. Love wasn’t something they had time to feel. It wasn’t something they could risk hurting themselves with.

Yet here they were.

Dean took in a shaky breath, and leaned into another kiss on the cheek, his lips lingering against his skin.

“I don’t know what to say,” Dean said.

“I think in this case, humans would find it appropriate to perhaps not say anything. They would say they don’t have the words.”

“I don’t.”

Dean felt Castiel’s lips turn up in a small smile against the skin of his cheek, his ear.

Dean turned, Castiel letting him do so, and he pressed the feather into his chest.

“Please, I can’t have this.”

Castiel took the feather, and then shoved it against Dean’s chest.

“You will.”

They continued their physical back and forth.

“No, Cas, you don’t understand. I _can’t_.”

“Dean, this is _for you_. I’m here _for you_.”

“And you think that’s gonna matter? What if—What if I lose you again? What if you get hurt? What if _I_ get hurt? What would you even do then? And the monsters? The belly to the ground, crawling through the mud, _evil_ crap out there? What would they do if they knew?”

“They’d use us against each other,” Castiel responded.

“Exactly,” Dean answered, pressing the feather gently into Castiel’s palm, and then retreating before it could be given back to him. “It’s not worth it.”

Dean had his back turned, but then suddenly everything started glowing, there was a ringing in the air. When Dean turned Castiel’s eyes were searing blue, golden light emanating from him, and his wings… his wings were unfurled.

Dean’s mouth dropped open.

_Holy shit._

The colors he’d found so beautiful on just one feather were on all of them, all mixing together in a beautiful cascade of perfection. Dean’s eyes widened, and he just stared.

Castiel spoke, voice strong, powerful, and it seemed to pierce through his body right into his soul, “Do not tell me it is not worth it, Dean Winchester. I rebelled against Heaven for you. I gave my life — _everything_ — for _you_. Do not be so callous as to throw it all away. You are the Righteous Man. Find bravery now.”

Dean didn’t responded, just breathed heavily. 

Cas titled his head at him, similar to that way he had in the barn all those years ago.

“What? A brave warrior is scared of emotions? Do not be. I once said you lack faith.” The glowing faded, but still his wings stayed. Castiel’s voice was so human when he pleaded, eyes big, “Have faith in me.”

Dean fell to his knees, stunned, and Castiel came over, kneeling with him, wrapping his arms and his wings around him. The soft feathers provided comfort even through Dean’s clothes, but he had the sudden urge to undress, to feel all of Castiel against him.

“Cas…” Dean breathed. “I’m sorry.”

Castiel handed him back the feather.

“Don’t be.”

“I…” Dean was blinking away tears. He was terrified. But maybe in that fear he could find something else, something he’d always wanted.

He truly didn’t know what to say, so he grabbed the back of Castiel’s head and pulled him into a kiss. His beautiful angel reciprocated, mouth wet and warm, knowing how to move perfectly against his, to stoke a fire in him, even as comfort swept through his body.

Dean gently brushed against Castiel’s wings, touch so light, in awe with his boyfriend, his lover, his everything. Castiel, getting the message, pulled his wings back slightly. Dean took off his flannel, and also took the time to carefully place the feather he’d been given onto the floor. Now he leaned in, holding Cas close, letting his feathers brush against his arms.

Feathers. So many beautiful feathers.


End file.
